Ecstasy and Her Pups
by PiercingPrincess
Summary: Ecstasy is a little pissed because her creator stuck her on a planet with three suns, an upcoming eclipse, a murderer and ten survivors...Rated M because Ecstasy has a dirty mouth
1. Chapter 1

**C.H.U.D., Hooch and Ecstasy**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Riddick (unfortunately) or his creators. Nor do I own Shazza, Zeke, Jack, Imam and his boys, Fry or Johns.

**Summary:** My creations, CHUD, Hooch and Ecstasy are shoved into Pitch Black in the hopes that they can…  
1) Tame the beast known as Riddick? Of course…NOT!  
2) Be the sudden and unrealistic savior of _everyone_ from the crash? Again, of course…NOT!  
3) Annoy the living fuck out every single last one of them? HELLZ YEAH!

**THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!!**

* * *

The name's Ecstasy, as in Ecstasy X. Real name too, not made up. Though sometimes I wish it was. Anywho, I'm stranded on some weird planet thingy with a bunch of crazy kids running around yelling something about a crash. Did I mention this planet had three suns? All of which were beating down on my ear length, boy styled blue, green and purple hair, my sensitive all black eyes and my pale ass skin? Seriously, if I got burned, I was going to kill my creator. Speaking of, you should meet her sometime. She'll drive you up a fuckin' wall.

So I'm standing in the center of this _HUGE_ debris trail in my pink short shorts, my knee tall black with rainbow splatter Chuck All Stars, my blue tank top and my green, short sleeved button up, petting my beast of a pet (both of them) absently and wondering how the fuck I got here when some big bad ass mother fucker comes tearing my way. He's bald, wearing goggles, cargo pants and a wife beater and I'm thinking _"She fucking sent me into her favorite movie. Typical of her really, but why this one? Why not the one when Jackie's all grown up and actually has tits?"_ So he's still grumbling about the cuffs around his wrists and trying to pick his way out of them and not even bothering to look up to see where he's going. And me, being Ecstasy and one stubborn bad ass mother fucker myself, doesn't move. Naturally he plows right into me. We both stagger backwards and my precious babies start snarling their little minds out at the fuck head.

Let me tell you something real quick: most people would wet themselves and go screaming for their fucking mommy if they caught an eyeful of my snarling babies. They're at least four feet tall, all black, slender and powerful. They're like a cross between a Great Dane and a Husky kind of but ten times more dangerous. And they've got mommy's temper. They don't like it when someone pops my bubble, they don't like it when someone looks at me wrong, and they definitely don't like it when B.A.M.F.'s such as Richard B. Riddick come plowing into me and then start glaring like the whole thing was my fucking fault. Which it isn't by the way. He should watch where he's going.

"Who the fuck are you?" He growls. Oh he's angry. That's never good. Well you know what? SO AM I!

"Who the fuck are _you_?" I counter. Oh, real smooth. He growls, he actually fucking _growls_ and suddenly C.H.U.D. (cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller) and Hooch are in front of me and snarling their little minds out again. I pat them on the head and they settle down. Then I wonder why I asked him who he was because, let's face it, everyone knows Riddick. I roll my eyes at his lack of a response…or fear. "The name's Ecstasy." I say and his eyebrows shoot up. I scowl. "Shut up, no jokes please, no matter how wonderful and erotic my name is."

"I didn't see you on the ship," he says. Now I raise my eyebrows. What the fuck am I going to say to that?

"Yeah well…I didn't see you on the ship either." I counter and stick my tongue out at him. What can I say, my creator made me a bit stupid. I mean, who goes around and sticks their tongues out at a mass fucking murderer? Damn, I should probably start watching my fucking mouth. It's getting a little out of hand.

He scoffs, rolls his eyes behind those goggles of his and tries to walk around me. Hooch stops him, sniffing his boots, his legs, his…ahem. C.H.U.D. jumps in and sniffs at his arms and stomach and soon, Riddick's covered in dog slobber and little black hairs. He growls at them, glaring them in the eye like he thinks his amazing Alpha-ness is gonna get them to stop. Now I scoff. Please! No one can dominate my babies. Believe me…I've tried.

Once he gives up trying to glare them down, I step up and poke them on the nose. Their snarls fall, their ears prick up again, their tails wag and their panting like two happy little puppies stuck with their master, a serial killer, a crash site and ten survivors and a planet that's full of monsters that'll most likely kill every single one of us. Except in the movie, Jack, Riddick and Imam get away. Three out of ten. Make that four. I'm a natural survivor.

"You know," I call when he's a ways off. I snicker to myself. _Screw you creator I'm gonna fuck up the story._ "Johns knows you're going that way." He stops and turns his head just slightly to look at me. I roll my eyes and, like later in the movie, pat my thigh. "Come on boy!" I say too enthusiastically. He tenses and I can tell he's just dying to shiv me right now. Heh…that sounds so dirty.

What!? Don't look at me! My fucking name is Ecstasy what the fuck did you expect!?

"Well you just gonna stand there or are ya gonna follow me!?" I ask and he starts walking…the same direction he'd been going before. I roll my eyes and follow him, thinking how stupid this so called intelligent, mass murdering psychopath is.

* * *

**THE CREATOR:** Sorry it's such a short first chapter. I'm trying out a new approach on my stories. Usually I try to make them serious and what not…but I don't know…it might be the amount of pills I've taken today that's made me realize how amazing it would be if there was someone in Pitch Black that could relieve all of the tension and depression and darkness. HA! That was funny…

**ECSTASY:** If you set me up with Dicky-Boy over here I'm gonna…. –mumbles incoherently-

**RIDDICK:** I agree…

**THE CREATOR:** To what? All I heard was blah blah blah blah blah blah blah….You get the picture..anywho, review pleases!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**C.H.U.D., Hooch and Ecstasy**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Riddick (unfortunately) or his creators. Nor do I own Shazza, Zeke, Jack, Imam and his boys, Fry or Johns.

**Summary:** My creations, CHUD, Hooch and Ecstasy are shoved into Pitch Black in the hopes that they can…  
1) Tame the beast known as Riddick? Of course…NOT!  
2) Be the sudden and unrealistic savior of _everyone_ from the crash? Again, of course…NOT!  
3) Annoy the living fuck out every single last one of them? HELLZ YEAH!

**THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!!**

* * *

So we're walking, well running actually, and the douche hasn't said one word to me. Sure he's a bad ass and he's gotta keep his cool around others so they don't think he's a complete pussy but the dude could at least make conversation with a fellow murderer! (Didn't I tell you that? Could have sworn I mentioned something about me being a B.A.M.F. in the last chapter…) So I decide to start up the conversation. We slow down so we have enough energy to keep going later and I glance over. He hasn't even broken into a sweat yet. Good for him! Bad for whatever moron thinks they have more endurance than him…

"So how many people have you killed?" I ask. He glances sideways at me. We're in some shade by the boneyard now so his goggles are off and I can see his silver eyes. Shine job! Awesomeness! He doesn't answer. Of course not. Jackass… "You know, I never bothered counting after I hit forty-seven," I say, continuing the conversation even though I'm sure he's not listening. "It just seemed pointless. After all, I had no goal to reach, so why bother keeping track. I'm sure the public knew, if there were any bodies left after I finished with them, but they don't cause there aren't and so I have no way of knowing."

Ah ha! I got a reaction. Excuse me while I do a mini victory dance inside my head. His eyebrows raise and he looks at me out of the corner of his eyes. He's lounging very peacefully (ha! He's a murderer, there is no peace in his life!) on one of the dips in the bones. "You're wondering why there aren't any bodies aren't you?" No response. "Well I assume you're wondering that because I already told you why I don't count so you can't be wondering that. Unless you just tuned me out. Which I'm sure you did. Anyway, the reason for the no bodies is because I take them home with me…and I eat them."

Another reaction! Look at me, I'm on a fucking roll! "Well I just don't eat them. That wouldn't be very polite if I ate in front of CHUD and Hooch now would it? Nah I share with them as much as I can. They don't like eating the girls though, which is funny cause they're guys and I'm pretty sure most guys would like to eat a girl if they could." A twitch of the lips. Oh yeah, fellow pervert in the house! Erm…skeleton. "But it works out because the guys can be so tough sometimes and I let them tear them up a little. Did you know that if you roast a human they taste like steak?"

A pause. He's watching me. I'm sitting on the ground Indian Style with Hooch on my left and CHUD on my right. His lips twitch like he's gonna talk but then they settle down. He looks away and out at the desert planet and then back down at me. "Where'd you come up with the name CHUD?" He asks. I bust out laughing. I'm sorry…but really? I just told him that I killed and ate people for a living and he asks where the hell I got my dog's name from? Oh god…this guy is awesome!

"His name stands for something. C for cannibalistic, H for humanoid, U for underground and D for dweller. Therefore, my pooch is a cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller. And we're damn proud of it." Another twitch of the lips. Another mini victory dance. "And Hooch just because it's fun to say. Hooch, Hooch, Hooch, Hooch…" My dog looks up at me, obviously wondering why I was saying his name so much. "No one's talking to you," I say and he lays his head back down.

"They understand you?" Richard B. Riddick asks. His name is fun to say too! It's got a ring to it…

"Yup. Have since they were pups," I say. I look around, finally taking in my surroundings. "How long are we gonna stay in here?"

He shrugs. I glare and then fall backwards, no doubt showing him a wonderful view up my shorts but I don't care. As soon as my head hits the ground, CHUD and Hooch shift so they can use me as a pillow. Oh joy… "You know how long Johns' been after you?" I ask. No reply. "You know how long we're gonna survive out here?" No reply. "I'm a lesbian…" Nothing. I sit up and find he's staring straight at me. "Just kidding. Had to get your attention somehow. HEY LOOK! PEOPLE!"

* * *

**THE CREATOR**: Yes I know…another short chapter. Some dry humor, some randomness…now all I need are some reviews!

**ECSTASY: **Good luck with that…

**THE CREATOR**: Are you implying something?

**ECSTASY:** I might be.

**THE CREATOR:** I created you! I can destroy you!

**ECSTASY:** Not if you want this story to continue…. –evil grin-


	3. Chapter 3

**C.H.U.D., Hooch and Ecstasy**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Riddick (unfortunately) or his creators. Nor do I own Shazza, Zeke, Jack, Imam and his boys, Fry or Johns.

**Summary:** My creations, CHUD, Hooch and Ecstasy are shoved into Pitch Black in the hopes that they can…  
1) Tame the beast known as Riddick? Of course…NOT!  
2) Be the sudden and unrealistic savior of _everyone_ from the crash? Again, of course…NOT!  
3) Annoy the living fuck out every single last one of them? HELLZ YEAH!

**THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!!**

* * *

For as long as I can remember, I've been terrified of the dark. So when I see that model spin around and around and find that there's no light what-so-ever, I panic a little bit. Bad things happen in the dark (says the serial killer/cannibal). Bad things that I don't really feel like repeating. The dark is one of the reasons why I refuse to sleep. I realize that lack of sleep can eventually kill you and wear you out, but I've programmed myself, much like Mr. Macho has, into needing only a couple hours of rest a week. Like I said, bad things happen in the dark.

I think Mr. Macho (aka Richard B. Riddick, Dick, B.A.M.F., Big Bad) can sense my fear of the dark even though it's technically not here yet. I can see the suns lowering though, or is it the planet in front of them rising, and I know that soon this entire planet is going to become a huge fucking mass of fear for me. Hopefully though those monsters will serve as a distraction and I can turn my fear into anger and take that anger out on the bird-beasts. But as I was saying, I think Mr. Macho can sense my fear, because even though we've parted ways a lot since the skeleton, he always finds his way back to my side. Or is it that I always find a way back to his side? Either way people! Either way!

Anyhooters…

Heh…Hooters. Wonder if they still exist?

I turn the bend just in time to hear Riddick say "Bad sign to be shaking like that in this heat," or something like that. I turn to see Johns glaring at him. I walk over and stand next to Riddick, trying not to laugh at the mental image I have in my mind right now. Okay, picture a five foot tall girl with blue, green and purple hair, dressed in the most colorful outfit you've ever seen with two ginormous black dogs on either side of her standing next to big, bad Richard Riddick. (Hm, somehow his name doesn't sound that great without the B. in the middle)

"Jeez druggie from another mother," I say, comparing myself to Johns (only because we both love our drugs). "You gotta kick back some, relax. Even I'm not that hooked." All I get in response is a glare. Jeez, didn't know that hanging out with a futuristic murderer meant that people would automatically hate your guts. "What the hell are you glaring at Merc?" I growl. "You're no better than me or Big Bad over here. Face it Johns, we're all in it to win it for ourselves, not anyone else."

"What makes you so similar to the Pay Day over there?" Johns spats at me. I see Riddick tense out of the corner of my eye. Apparently he doesn't like being called Pay Day.

I smirk a smirk that could rival Riddick's and prance over to Johns. Before he can as what I was doing, before I can process my actions and before Riddick has even stopped scowling, I grab Johns by the shoulders and sink my teeth into the junction where his shoulder and neck meet. He howls in pain and I let him go, pushing him away hard enough for him to fall to the ground. He's holding his hand to his neck and blood's gushing out from between his fingers. I turn slowly, wiping the blood off my mouth with my fingers and sucking them clean. I wink at Riddick when I pass and practically skip towards the skiff to see what Fry and Jackie are doing.

Why am I so happy you might ask? Why, it's because I just tore off a piece of The Blue-Eyed Devil's neck, that's why!

* * *

**THE CREATOR:** Another short chapter, little more gruesome, little darker, little insight into Ecstasy's personal info. Give a review and you get an imaginary cookie!

**ECSTASY:** -singing- I bit Johns, I bit Johns, I bit Johns! Go me, go me, go me, go me!!! –stops singing and doing her little victory dance and stares at the readers- Told ya I ate people…

**RIDDICK:** Even I'm not that fucked up………


	4. Chapter 4

**C.H.U.D., Hooch and Ecstasy**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Riddick (unfortunately) or his creators. Nor do I own Shazza, Zeke, Jack, Imam and his boys, Fry or Johns.

**Summary:** My creations, CHUD, Hooch and Ecstasy are shoved into Pitch Black in the hopes that they can…  
1) Tame the beast known as Riddick? Of course…NOT!  
2) Be the sudden and unrealistic savior of _everyone_ from the crash? Again, of course…NOT!  
3) Annoy the living fuck out every single last one of them? HELLZ YEAH!

**THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!!**

* * *

Zeke, Shazza and one of Imam's kids are gone. I'm standing outside of our little safe haven in my shorts, my button up and my rainbow striped bra. My shoes are folded over and my tank top is somewhere out there in the dark. The kid calls my name and I see her blush when I turn around. Could she be more obvious? Hooch is standing next to me, CHUD next to Riddick, who's shifting his eyes between me and the monsters. I smile a huge, crooked smile when he looks at me and then I turn and I walk into the safe haven. I can feel Johns' eyes scanning my body and I force myself not to punch him. This little group needs a leader and since they won't listen to me and Riddick, Johns is the next best (worse) thing.

When Johns says something about pissing glass I snap back into the conversation. "That can't be good for you," I mumble and I get a few weird looks. I hiss at them and walk up to Riddick. "Whatcha doin?" I ask in my most annoying voice. He grunts at me. How man-like. I roll my eyes and turn to Fry. "How long before they find out?" I whisper to her. Nothing. "How long until the lights go out for good?" Again, no answer. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WITH YOU GUYS!?" I screech and suddenly everybody's yelling at me.

I freeze and my eyes narrow dangerously. I can tell almost all of them are freaked out (minus Riddick cause he's bad ass and minus Jack because she thinks my eyes are cool) by my all black eyes, especially in the darkness, but that doesn't stop them from scolding me. "SHUT UP!" I roar and they do. I snatch the blow torch from Riddick and wave it around dramatically as I walk over to the wall and rant. "You guys fail! You know that right? You're hauling around three kids, a Holy Man, a merc, a captain who's a fucking pussy, and two murderers and you choose to yell at me when I try to make conversation. So what if I'm fucking annoying!? YOU ARE TOO! You're constant whining and screaming and bitching! For a second there I almost thought I was dealing with a bunch of immature, PMS-ing little bitches. If you want to get off this fucking planet alive, then shut your FUCKING mouths and GROW SOME BALLS!"

As the section of the wall I'd been cutting away at fell to the ground and I spun around (almost lighting Jack on fire) and I glared at them and threw the un-lit blow torch at Fry. With a final glare I spun on my heel and intended on marching away. I say intended because I in fact did not march away. I tripped and fell on my face. In front of the people who all thought I was bad ass. Could this day really get any worse?

When Johns started laughing, I stood very slowly and turned my gaze on him. With him too busy laughing his ass off, he was surprised when I snatched his gun away from him. "Who's laughing now pussy?"

"You are what you eat," he sneered back.

While I let my lips twitch to give him credit for that amazing comeback I say, "Johns please. I eat pussy like a fat kid eats cake, therefore, I WIN!" I turn and, laughing hysterically, run through the opening and past the netting, intent on exploring this darkness.

I stop…oh shit.

It's dark…

Really…fucking…dark.

* * *

**THE CREATOR:** DUM DUM DUUUUMMMMM!!!!

**ECSTASY:** WHY'D YOU SEND ME RUNNING INTO THE DARK!?

**THE CREATOR:** DON'T YELL AT ME!.........-looks out at the readers- Heh…-scratches the back of her neck- You want a cookie?


	5. Chapter 5

**C.H.U.D., Hooch and Ecstasy**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Riddick (unfortunately) or his creators. Nor do I own Shazza, Zeke, Jack, Imam and his boys, Fry or Johns.

**Summary:** My creations, CHUD, Hooch and Ecstasy are shoved into Pitch Black in the hopes that they can…  
1) Tame the beast known as Riddick? Of course…NOT!  
2) Be the sudden and unrealistic savior of _everyone_ from the crash? Again, of course…NOT!  
3) Annoy the living fuck out every single last one of them? HELLZ YEAH!

**THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!!**

It's dark. It's really fucking dark. It's like, can't see your hand in front of your face dark and I'm freaking out. My mind is working on overdrive trying to figure out how the fuck to get out of this situation. I could go back to the group and get light? Yes! Except, when I turn around, there's more darkness there too. I can't see anything, I'm surrounded by the blackest fucking black I'd ever seen. I start shaking, gripping the gun tighter in my hands. "Come on E," I whisper to myself. "You're fine. You've killed people, you've watched people die, you've fucking eaten people for Christ's sake! You are NOT scared of the dark. You are NOT scared of the – WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?"

A low chuckle met my ears. "You're scared…of the dark?" Riddick asks, standing right fucking behind me. I'm pretty sure my eye started twitching and suddenly I'm longing for the all-too familiar feeling of blood in my mouth. So I bite my tongue. Hard. Holding back a squeak of very mild pain, I turn and glare up at Richard B. Riddick's shining eyes. He just smirks down at me. "You're scared of the dark." He repeats but this time it's not a question. It's a statement.

Then he sees the blood dribbling down my chin from biting my tongue and he curses. I smirk. "What?" I sneer. "A little blood scare Riddick?"

"These fucking things get a whiff of our blood, they got us good. You're fucking dead."

"Wanna bet?" Even I'm a little scared at the fierceness in my voice. What was once a slightly annoying, very pretty alto singing voice was gravelly and angry. I can tell Riddick is slightly confused at my sudden change of mood, but hey, I've got a taste of blood, and I'm not stopping until I can satisfy my fucking hunger.

Let me tell you guys something. When I'm scared, I get pissed. When I'm pissed I tend to kill. When I kill, I eat. Therefore, when I get scared, I need some fucking blood spilled and I need it right then and right there. Johns' face flashes in front of my eyes and I smirk. I brush past Riddick and let out a whistle. "Here Johns! Heeeeerrrre Johns!"

"What the fuck are you doing?" Riddick rasped and yanked me back. My shoulders collided with his chest and he held me still in the shadows, his eyes glued on the giant bird thingy resting on top of a crate across form us. One of Imam's kids runs by and soon…he's dead.

I tear myself away from Riddick's grasp and aim the gun, firing and landing a shot to one of the thing's wings. Riddick takes off around the corner as another one joins this one and I hear his yell as he's blinded by the light. I take a step backwards, the gun hanging off my back, my eyes on the bird. "Here birdie, birdie, birdie. Here you stinking, no good, sonofabitching motherfucker! Come to momma!"

The creature lunges. I swing my gun around but before I can fire, CHUD and Hooch slam into the beast from the side, their snarling growls filling the air. The three beasts struggle. A whine slips past one of my dog's lips and I yell for them to fall back. The creature falls dead to the floor. Hooch returns to my side. CHUD doesn't. "FUCKING COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!" I scream, firing shots into the corpse. When the bullets are wasted I fall to my knees by my dog, angry tears in my all black eyes. "Fucking cock sucker…" I mumble.

**ECSTASY:** YOU KILLED MY FUCKING BABY!?!?!

**THE CREATOR:** -while being chased around by E- Review?


	6. Chapter 6

**C.H.U.D., Hooch and Ecstasy**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Riddick (unfortunately) or his creators. Nor do I own Shazza, Zeke, Jack, Imam and his boys, Fry or Johns.

**Summary:** My creations, CHUD, Hooch and Ecstasy are shoved into Pitch Black in the hopes that they can…  
1) Tame the beast known as Riddick? Of course…NOT!  
2) Be the sudden and unrealistic savior of _everyone_ from the crash? Again, of course…NOT!  
3) Annoy the living fuck out every single last one of them? HELLZ YEAH!

**THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!!**

It's black as fuck. But we have lights. We'll be fine…right? Besides, it's not like I care anyway. I'm in the middle of rambling off some random jokes while Riddick (to my right) and Johns (to my left) are discussing whether or not they should cut up the kid and drag her along as bait. I for one am completely against that. I'm just too busy talking to myself to jump in their cozy little conversation.

"So the National Gun Association says that 'guns don't kill people, people do' but I think the gun helps. I really think it helps. You're not going to kill too many people walking around going 'BANG!' are you? No, you'd have to be really dodgy on the heart for that to work…"

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!?" Johns yells suddenly. The group stops walking. They stop talking. Riddick stares. They stare. I'm pretty sure the fucking birds are going 'OH NO HE DI'N'T!'. The fuck he did….sonofabitch this fucking merc is dead. Imma kill him…IMMA FUCKING KILL HIM.

I lunge. He drops his gun. Riddick moves closer to provide us light or some shit. Fry turns Jackie away, knowing what I'm about to do. Imam turns his remaining followers away. All Paris and Riddick do is watch on as I pin Johns to the ground and bury my teeth into his throat. I rip my head to the side and back and blood covers my entire chest, neck and face. But I'm not done. I'm hungry, I'm pissed, I'm scared and he just offered to kill one of my favorite characters and use her for bait. That and he hasn't killed Fry yet.

Riddick's the one that pulls me off. Riddick's the one that tells me get a hold of myself. Riddick's the one that ends up on his back next, but only momentarily. He flips us over and pins my much smaller body against the ground. I flail against him, my teeth aching to sink into his skin, but he doesn't let me. He holds me down until I'm too tired to struggle anymore. He holds me down until I'm too tired to care anymore. He holds me down until the darkness consumes me and I loose consciousness.

**THE CREATOR:** I know, I know…dark and slightly depressing. But Johns' dead! And Ecstasy is contained…for now. Even though she's lost her mind, or what was left of it. Anyhooters…read on! And REVIEW!


	7. Chapter 7

**C.H.U.D., Hooch and Ecstasy**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Riddick (unfortunately) or his creators. Nor do I own Shazza, Zeke, Jack, Imam and his boys, Fry or Johns.

**Summary:** My creations, CHUD, Hooch and Ecstasy are shoved into Pitch Black in the hopes that they can…  
1) Tame the beast known as Riddick? Of course…NOT!  
2) Be the sudden and unrealistic savior of _everyone_ from the crash? Again, of course…NOT!  
3) Annoy the living fuck out every single last one of them? HELLZ YEAH!

**THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!**

I woke up slung over Riddick's back some odd number of minutes (hours? Days?) later, his hands hooked under my knees and my arms slung over his shoulders. I raised my head from where my forehead rested against the back of his neck and grumbled something about hangovers under my breath. He, of course, heard me and let out a barking laugh. An actual bark sounded in return and Hooch came trotting up to me.

"Puppy," I rasped, smiling and reaching down to pat him on the head. His tail wagged and he barked happily. I slung my arm back over Riddick's shoulder and yawned. "Morning Big Bad."

"Mornin'," he replied, his deep baritone vibrating through him and me.

He paused in his walking and I jumped down, wobbling on my feet until his larger hand helped steady me. Jack caught sight of me awake and ran over to us, throwing her arms around my neck and almost causing us to fall out of what little light we had left. We were reduced to hand-made torches now, something I noticed with a frown.

"You guys look like shit," I grinned crookedly, slinging my arm around Jack's shoulders a) to keep her close to me and b) because I wasn't entirely steady on my feet just yet. I noticed that not one of them (save for Jackie and Riddick) met my eyes as I surveyed the damage done, and resisted to snap at them. I was just pissy because my nap was cut short.

Eventually, after more deaths and less light, we came across a cave which Riddick tried to usher us into. I say tried because not all of us went willingly.

"No!" I shouted for the hundredth time. "I am NOT going in there!"

"Still whining about the dark?" He smirked.

"Your face!"

"That doesn't make sense," Jack called from the cave. I shushed her.

"X," he sighed. I raised an eyebrow and planted my hands on my hips. He sighed again, a growl really, and I could almost mentally picture him throwing his hands up in frustration. Before I could comprehend what was really happening, the bolder type rock was already blocking the entrance to the cave and he was stalking away from me, grumbling something about annoying girls with black eyes.

I grinned and trotted after him, trying my best to ignore Jack's furious screams.

**CREATOR:** Hey guys. Sorry it took so long for me to update…again. I feel horrible. I really do.

**ECSTASY:** No she doesn't.

**CREATOR:** -scowls at Ecstasy and throws a rock at her-


	8. Chapter 8

**C.H.U.D., Hooch and Ecstasy**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Riddick (unfortunately) or his creators. Nor do I own Shazza, Zeke, Jack, Imam and his boys, Fry or Johns.

**Summary:** My creations, CHUD, Hooch and Ecstasy are shoved into Pitch Black in the hopes that they can…  
1) Tame the beast known as Riddick? Of course…NOT!  
2) Be the sudden and unrealistic savior of _everyone_ from the crash? Again, of course…NOT!  
3) Annoy the living fuck out every single last one of them? HELLZ YEAH!

**THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!**

I helped him cart the cells the rest of the way to the ship. I knew, without a doubt in my mind, that he was planning on leaving the others behind so he could escape. But then there was the fact that he had let me come along as well. I shrugged. The way he probably saw it was: I couldn't turn him in without turning myself in, so he was safe. Truth be told, even if I hadn't done all the things I have, I probably wouldn't have turned him in. Guys like Riddick don't stay in prison for too long if they can help it, and when they break out they're out for blood.

Like me, I thought with a crooked grin. He cocked an eyebrow at me and I stuck my tongue out at him. What an odd pair we were…

It was strange how being in the group had lessened my fear of the dark. But now, walking beside Big Bad with only a strand of lights strapped across his back for light, I realized that it wasn't the group that had kept me safe, or even Big Bad himself. It was the light. I mean, yea sure it kept the monsters away but it also seemed to remind me of a simpler time when the dark hadn't been something for me to fear so much.

I shook my head roughly to rid it of those thoughts. I shouldn't dwell on the past.

We arrived at the skiff with almost no trouble and as Riddick started loading the cells and starting up the small bit of shit that was our last hope of escaping, Fry tackled me.

NOT a good idea.

I spun us in the air so when we landed it was her with her back on the ground. Riddick glanced back, saw us struggling and came to…watch. Fucking bastard.

She rolled us over and pinned me, her legs trapping my arms at my sides and her hands on either side of my head. I'm sure this was just fucking awesome to Big Bad. Two girls, soaking wet, wrestling on the muddy ground? Fuck yes…

"Him I can understand," she snapped. "But why you? You actually protected us."

"Survival," I snarled. "I like living you psycho bitch."

"Oh I'm crazy! You're the one who killed Johns."

I snarled and bucked my hips, throwing her off of me and rolling so I could pin her to the ground this time. "If you don't shut the fuck up," I yelled. "You'll be next!"

"Ecstasy," Riddick said. One word, my fucking name, and I was calm. WHAT THE FUCK! "Get off her. Let her talk."

"Fuck you," I grumbled. Maybe it was respect that had me practically on my back, bearing my throat like a good little wolfie to her Alpha. Or maybe I was just too tired to argue anymore. Whatever the case was, I sent one more scolding glare at Fry and then stood. On my way past the skiff I grabbed a strand of lights before stalking away.

**ECSTASY:** Oi! I ain't no bitch for him to boss around!

**RIDDICK:** Obviously, you are.

**THE CREATOR:** Heh…stay tuned for more? Don't worry, Ecstasy returns to her normal, joke cracking self soon.


	9. Chapter 9

**C.H.U.D., Hooch and Ecstasy**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Riddick (unfortunately) or his creators. Nor do I own Shazza, Zeke, Jack, Imam and his boys, Fry or Johns.

**Summary:** My creations, CHUD, Hooch and Ecstasy are shoved into Pitch Black in the hopes that they can…  
1) Tame the beast known as Riddick? Of course…NOT!  
2) Be the sudden and unrealistic savior of _everyone_ from the crash? Again, of course…NOT!  
3) Annoy the living fuck out every single last one of them? HELLZ YEAH!

**THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!**

"I wanna live 'till I die," I said under my breath, staggering my way down the hill that was only a few feet away from the cave. "No more and no less." I paused to giggle and then started up again. "Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. Ok, we can swing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play for you. That's pretty damn good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance."

"X!" Jack's yell was muffled through the rock.

"HIYA JACKIE!"

"X!"

"Yes we covered this. Tis me. Now…stand away from the rock."

"How are you going to move it?"

"Hooch is still in there with you right?"

"Um…yea. But how is he going to help?"

"Hm? Oh he's not. I was just wondering."

"…right."

I spit on both of my hands and rubbed them together, taking a stance on one side of the rock and bracing myself. I pushed. Nothing happened. Of course not. That would just be too easy. I tried the other side…nothing. "SONOFABITCH!" I yelled and started kicking at it. Nope. Now I just had a sore foot.

"Need some help?" Came a rumbling baritone. I scowled back at Big Bad and noticed Fry behind him. I stepped to the side and bowed mockingly.

"But first!" I yelled, spun, and punched Fry in the face. Pretty sure I broke her nose.

"What the FUCK!" She yelled.

"What?" I blinked, smiling innocently. "I didn't want Jackie to see such violence."

With a cackle I disappeared into the now open cave and swept Jack into my arms before pulling away and punching her on the shoulder. "Tag, you're it."

**THE CREATOR:** This chapter took ten minutes to write. Might have something to do with it being so short, like the others. Kinda bothers me that I have the chapters this short but there's just too much jumping around for me to make them longer. Idk. I think I'm just lazy…You know the drill.


End file.
